Friday, July 26, 2013

I am at Peace

There is not a day that passes when my mind doesn't
remembers the sights, sounds, and smells of Russia.

I remember the smiles of the caregivers as they
told us about the children who they take care.

I remember the smell of the lunch room
as the meal was getting ready to be served.

I remember the sound of children 
talking, singing and the echos of their foot steps
ringing, as they walked down the long hall.
If I close my eyes I can still hear them.

I remember the wonder in the eyes of the children.
I remember the joy and excitement in their eyes as 
they  got the chance to full fill the need
of self worth by sweeping, dusting and helping the 
younger child to be where they needed to be.

I remember the smiles on the faces of 
Paul ,Artem, the Director, and our facilitator
as we got to spend some time together.
 We made some great memories full of laughter
joy and tears.
I remember the love, peace and happiness 
I felt while there.

(pictures of the kiddos that live there)
I know that if our boy can not come home now
he will be taking care of, until he turns 21.
Then he would have to be moved again to another place.
That is what I use to think then I reflect on that ....
 and  I feel ashamed of my thoughts because
he is God's little one and he will be taken care of 
everyday of his life, even if I can not be with him.

I use to ask WHY? 
I have come to grips with the fact that I would not be able to handle why?
I could be going through a test or even a growing pain.
I could be selfish and only look at the small time  we had together!
I could be sick and tired of being a lesson for myself or someone else!
I could be thankful for the people and the children I got to hug,speak with, love on!
I could say Thank you for allowing and blessing the time together.
I  could remember that my heart, soul , life and being 
has been forever changed for the good.
I could remember that everything happens for a reason!
I could trust that God knows better than I.

That my friends is a better place to dwell.
I am at peace with what ever happens.
I choose to rely, trust and obey my purpose,
even when it is hard and painful to do so!
But it is not always based on my feelings
it is based on what I know!
I know that God is bigger and is in control no matter what happens.
I know that because of Him 
I have a love that is uncommon.
I have peace that people don't understand.
I have forgiveness that makes no sense.
I know it is not of myself. 
 I know who I was and who I am now.

 (this is a picture Artem and Paul took on the first day of meeting him)

to everyone who I got to meet
while in Russia, I know that 
you believe in your purpose also.
Thank you for caring the innocent.
Thank you for feeding them when they are hungry.
Thank you for allowing us to come over and meet you.
Thank you for allowing me to spend some time with my son.
You all are in my prayers and thoughts!


1 comment:

  1. Love you all - God will give you what you truly need. Time - You have a lifetime to wait for your son. We will be right there with you.