Wednesday, November 28, 2012

I miss my boy!

It has been a wonderful, exhausting, frustration, joyfully
eye-opening and over all learning experience, this journey we are on!
It has made me see what I need to be Thankful for.
It has also taught me not to judge to quickly anything that is different from me.

I have seen with my eyes the lovely children who smile even when.
I have seen the care that the workers have for the kids.
I have seen the innocence of a cute little Blondie headed 
boy as he rested his head in my hands.
I have seen the excitement of nursery rhythms 
that flooded out the mouth of a sweet boy.

I could sense that these children wanted to spend time with us.
I  could see the smiles and the wonderment of who we where crossing
their beautiful eyes!
Then I saw my boy enter in through the door and all I wanted to do
was to jump up and grab him.
I want you to know that took all my strength not to attach him with kisses.
I watched him walk in the room.
My stomach flipped while my eyes filled with tears.
My heart was ready to explode with love. 
I remember this feeling when I saw both my pretty daughters.
Hd looked around the room and he saw Paul.
That was it He went right to him and sat on his lap.
He then grabbed his hands and latched on to his thumbs.
He sat there and enjoyed that time.



I do know that the first day was a blur due to the time difference.
 there was a few hours  a head of  Nebraska.
I do remember the feeling of shock and amazement
when we found out that we where the first to 
ever adopt from this current place.  
Not just first from America but first ever in the history 
of this place.  He will be the first

  

Friday, November 23, 2012

Time, memories and love!



I am a person who likes to plan.
I like to know how much time a certain event will take.
I like to make my time count!
I like to also be about the bussiness I need to get done!
I also like to watch the clock and make memories.
I looked at the clock every time that my girls where born.
Kersten at 8:20a.m. on August 20th
Kelsee 5:02 p.m. on March 31st
I looked at the clock when both my parents passed away!
Time is a marker for me.
It helps me remember the good and the harder times in my life.
I know that on the flight back home to the U.S. I was praying that
the time would have moved a little quicker.  
I would look at the clock and only 15 minutes would have passed.
This went on for several hours!
It was crazy and then I remember that feeling of wishing to stop time.
I wanted the time with our boy to be slower.
I did not want it to pass to quickly.
I then thought it would be easier to me if I did not know 
or understand the concept of time.  

I know that this concept is harder for people and children that 
have a disability to over come.
I was thinking it might not be a bad thing!
Not being able to tell time or understand what a day looks and feels like.
Not being tied down to the clock.
To be happy and to enjoy every moment!
That concept has taught me to enjoy and make every moment count!
That is the blessing I am praying for with my boy.
I know that time is a hard concept for him to understand.  
I kept whispering  in his ear that we would be back.
I kept telling him that he is a good boy and that we love him.
I know that the wait time is probably harder for us then him.
Still I know that time is not an item that I can change, 
even though I wish I could!
I can change my action and reaction!
I can also learn how to use the time I have
 to do what I am called to do!

Even though this is hard and causes me grief, tears and stress at times.
It is a concept that I can not change!
I will turn my enregy to things that I can change.
That is me and me alone!

I want you to enjoy the pictures of our boy and the memories 
this creates.  
I hope that at this time of the year, You will all 
enjoy the time you have with the people you  love!
Focus on the time you get not on the time you think you should get!

Make those memories that will last and cause happiness!
Happy Thanksgiving!



Saturday, November 3, 2012

We have 16 hours left!

It will be a great day on Sunday November 4th!
It will be the day that we
start our journey.  
I am full of many different emotions at the current time.

Excited, nervous, longing, most of all happiness!
We get to touch, love in person and speak with our boy.

I know that some people will never understand how I feel about this little boy.
Some will never see the sparkle in his eyes.
Some will never get the depth of concern for him that we do.
I know that his mom and dad gave him up and I am sure that was out of love!
I also know that he was born to be my sweet brown eyed boy. 

I am aware that many people do not view these little angels the way I do!  
I know that when we go and meet our son  there will
be things that I do not want to see.
I know that I will see things that will cause a change in me.
I know that I will not be able to change all that I want,
 However, I will be able to do what I am suppose to!

I know who I am , I also know where my strength and love come from!

I just pray that I will be able to change who needs it.
Love the ones that don't deserve it.
Show mercy to the blinded 
and 
always make sure I speak with good purpose.















 We are coming to see you and to speak
wonderful things in your life.
We have  sooo much love
kisses, hugs and encouragement for you!
All of them from your
sisters, aunties, uncles, grandparents.

My good friend Mary Louise told me this
It is be ok in the end
 and
if it is not
 it is not the end Yet!