Friday, May 1, 2015

May Day!

I remember loving May day
at a very early age.
I love the thought of making 
baskets of goodies
and leaving them for people.

It is now I have another reason to love May day.
Today is the birthday of my pretty princess
Lucy Wu.
Her estimated birth date is today.
Estimated due to the fact of no one knowing 
for sure when she was born.
Her biological mother loved her
so much that she left her on a train.
 A highly populated area.
She knew some one would find her.
  Little Lucy was not a new born, 
that is another reason why I know 
her momma loved her. 
She took some time to think about 
what was best for Lucy and I 
know in my heart of hearts that 
was not a easy decision to make.  
I am so thankful that her momma
decided to give birth to her.
I am also thankful for the journey 
our paths are on right now.

When the police found my baby girl
they named her after the city in which 
she was born.
They also gave her a middle name
which is rare.  
I can tell you that her middle name means 
hope in her language.
I would have to agree with them.  
I think she is going to teach many 
the basic concept of love.  
She will also teach people to hope in something 
that is bigger than themselves.  
She is the hope that love will
win the war.  
I just wanted to take a minute 
and tell you Happy birthday little one.
I am so grateful that you where
born on this day.  
I am thankful that we will be
able to celebrate your birth
with you, hopefully next year!  
I hope that your seven birthday 
was full of laughter and
some cake.  
I love you and hope to see you 
my beauty queen!
I wanted to thank her birth parents.
Thank you for caring about her deeply!

Saturday, April 25, 2015


It Amazes me that time 
can pass by so quickly 
and so slowly at the same time.
How is that possible?  
I have noticed that some people
are more aware of time 
and how to use it.
I have also noticed that some people
are afraid of time 
and become desperate.
There are certain events that happen
in one's life that redirect
the sight back
 to the important things.  
It can be the sudden and 
unexpected death of a 
loved one.
It can be a promotion at work
It can be the celebration of a new birth. 

It does not matter if the event 
is good or bad,
 if it affects you it will change you!

We are all changed by certain times in our life.
I also know that time is the one thing 
you can never get back or recycle.  
The older I get the more I am 
aware that time is important.
It is also important what I do
with the time I am given.  
This was made more clear with the 
recent event of my close friend's husband's illness.  
He has been in the hospital battling 
a flesh eating virus and renal failure.  
Time can not pass fast enough.
Time seemed to stop.
However, he needs time to heal.
This helps me to keep focus on the important things!

As I wait until our paperwork flies across
the many miles of ocean, I am 
forced to deal with this concept of time.
I want it to pass quickly, however,
I need to make sure that 
I am doing what I need to in this time.
I need to make sure that I am still
leaving a legacy and not rushing to the end.
I do know that this life is a journey.
It is a process.
It is a gift.
It is hard to find that balance right now!
Some moments I fee like the world 
is spinning out of control.
There are other moments that 
I am calm and everything is right in the world.

While we are waiting please pray for us.
We need peace, wisdom, and knowledge.
Also say a prayer for my friend's husband please!

Sunday, March 8, 2015


What is your answer to this question?

Is the weight gain, swollen limbs,
nausea, and the long 
hours of labor worth it?
Most would say Yes!

Is the broken arm, wrecked knee,
and long hours of practice
worth it?
Most would say Yes!

Is the joy, pride,
legacy, and the time spent
worth it?
Most would say Yes!

I have heard this question many times as 
we travel this road of adoption.

 I do not remember 
signing or reading a document 
that guarantees 
"Everything  that is worth it, will be easy."

I do not remember having that much control
over what happens
that I can choose and pick
which life altering change
I can deal with at that time!

Is living life and 
trying to make every minute count
worth it?

Is seeing the face of the people 
you love, worth it?

 Is hearing the words that 
you are loved, worth it?

Is falling into the arms 
of someone who 
makes you feel safe
worth it?

So If we have to do finger prints and
FBI backgrounds checks again,
so be it!

If we have to fill out another 
document that states 
that we live here and work for them,
So be it!

If we have to change our
selfish ways to love
another beautiful soul 
so be it!

If we have to pay to have all
this paper work walked to 
the office it needs to be
so be it!

If we have share our time
with someone in need of it
so be it!

If we have to wait,
so be it!

I am here to tell you that it is all worth it.
To love and to have a person apart of
your family is always worth it!

To leave a print of love on their soul to match yours!
I believe that it is worth it!
I believe that everyone should have a place that they call home.
I believe that we are able and longing 
to make this dream come true 
for this little girl.

So love, patience, kindness, long suffering
are they worth it, to see the change of one soul?
Is it worth it be connected to people?

My answer is Yes!
That is my final answer!

Sunday, February 8, 2015

It is well with me...

By nature I am a very independent person who has 
a plan and can see what needs to
be done and does it!
There are moments of the day 
where I feel uncertain 
and unsure of myself.
These moments of uncertainty come
from my lack of sight.
I am a visual person.  I like bright colors.
I like the motion that a windmill makes.
I like to watch the clouds form into different animals.
I like to look down the road and see what is next.

I get anxious when I can not see things,
Then my default setting takes over and 
I feel the need to hold on to the things.  
The need to control what I can 
feel with my hands,
 takes over of my senses.
I try to convince myself that this will
help to ease my anxiety.
It only lasts for a short time.

There have been a multitude of moments in my life 
when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt
God designed it,
directed it,
I had to trust without questions.
and it was all well.

I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt
that there has been times 
when I thought I had the better plans.
I knew it all.
I thought I could fix it!
When I look back on my life and see some moments,
it reminds me that I have a choice.
I get to choose many things.

The most important choice I can make
 is to trust in the one who will
always, always 
love me.
I can trust in my own abilities, and strength.
I can trust I know better even though
my vision can be tunneled!
I can trust in my own awesome self,
 I can plan and execute something that is so far above me.
Why would I do that!
I know myself and I know my faults and flaws!
I also know that I can not even control my own body.
If I could I would not have migraines.
I would have a perfect healthy body and that is not the case.

 I know that I can not possibly do
 what God is suppose to do!
When I am reminded of that fact
it makes my choice easier.

Even though my physical eyes can not see
everything that is coming.
My heart and being 
can see his faithfulness.
I can close my eyes and hear my children's voices.
I know just by the sound of their voice who it is.
I can close my eyes 
and feel the support and love
that my husband gives me.
I can close my eyes and still see a sunset 
that happened last week.

I am learning to close my physical eyes and trust
in what I can not always see.
I cannot see love but I feel it!
I cannot see forgiveness but I can feel it!
I can not see peace but I can feel it!
I cannot see why some things happen and some do  not!

I can feel that peace that all is well.  
Today at this very moment I choice 
not to use my physical eyes to see things.
I want to see the way God sees!
I will trust Him where every the road may bend.
I will trust Him because I have chosen 
to focus my eyes on the one!

We as humans all have a focal point 
we direct our attention to 
in times of good and sorrow!
May it be directed to the one who is
the source of strength.
 Psalms 121:
1I lift up my eyes toward the mountains—
from where will my help come?
2My help is from the LORD,
maker of heaven and earth.

That fact along makes it well with  my soul!
I will try not to fight against you.
I will try to be a better listener.
I will try to listen to your words.
I will try not to doubt what you have said.
I will let my soul go and cling to you!

Friday, December 26, 2014

As the laughter quieted on the other end of the phone my sister in law reported to me that she thought I was a typical soccer mom. 
 “You know the one that you see on T.V. driving the kids to every activity in the family van.”  
 “The one that lives in a house garnished with a white picket fence.”
 “You know that one who is living the American dream.”  
 After the conversation ended I hung up the phone. 
 Those words seemed to echo in my ears and caused my mind to ponder. 
 I thought we are a very typical family.   
A family with a mother, Michelle, that teaches a Life Skills class at a local Elementary for the past seventeen years.
 A father, Paul, who also loves his occupation that he has with the local city office. 
 The oldest child is a daughter, Kersten, who loves to root for the underdog and an infectious outgoing personality. 
 The second daughter, Kelsee, who loves to sing and is the class clown due to her quick wit that keeps people in stitches. 
 Our family also has the company of two boxers, Libby and Asia.  
 So you see the typical family, Right?!

This American family our family had just that a dream. 
  This dream started with a seed of compassion for needy children. 
 After sponsoring a sweet girl from the Philippians for several years, the seed sprouted into having the chance to provide a child a forever home. 
  In 2011 the chance to provide a home for an orphan was looking like a possibility.  
 The chance to say Thank you for allowing the torch of parenthood to be passed. 
 We could see it!  After many hours of filling in blank lines and answering hundreds of questions the paper work was finished. 
 The many days of waiting, working and praying finally paid off. 
 The seedling blossomed into a new plant with the flight of the first trip to meet the little boy who had stolen our hearts.
 We had the opportunity to meet some inspirational people and our boy. 
 We spent a week in his country and feel in love with him and his culture.  
 We signed more paper work to start the next step of a court date. 

 The fragile plant that started could not stand up to the blustery storm that was approaching. 
The winds of discord brought the rain of obstinacy. 
 This caused the thunder and the lightening to clap in an enormous rage across our dream. 
A month and a half passed and the storm raged and ripped the fragile plant of adoption away from us.
 At the end of 2012 the country halted all adoptions. 
The doors that where once opened where now slammed and nailed shut with no glimmer of light to be seen. 
  The past two years have caused us as a family unit to reflect on some core believes. 
        We still have a longing to be a forever family.  
 We still love and long for our little boy, who is physically far off but held so close in our hearts.  
 The climate and soil is ready for a new seedling, a new plant a new gift.  We are in the process of bringing home another child. 
 A sweet little girl this time.  
 We have once again filled in the blank lines and answered hundreds of questions. 

 We are finishing our dossier in order to be officially matched with this little one. 
 Our fragile seedling needs some support. 
  Our typical family still has that dream. 
 A dream to provide a child with
 a home, 
a place of acceptance,
 a place to dance with joy,
 a place to run to when sorrow hits,
 a place filled with people who truly love each other. 
 Would you be willing to help us fulfill this dream?  
 We need people who are in like mind to help us reach this dream. 
 We are in need of financial support. 
 We did not recover any funds from our failed adoption. 
Saying that out loud still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
It still stings my eyes with salty tears.
I am asking and pleading! 

        I am asking as a mother who longs to hold her child.
I am asking as a chosen child.  
 I was an orphan. 
  My twin and I where loved so much that we received two sets of parents. 
I am asking as a fellow human being who believes that
 and forgiveness
 grows the best kind of humans.
  I believe that everyone deserves to have a family.  
  Everyone deserves a place called home.
 Everyone deserves love, second chances and the opportunity to grow into what they are to become. 
Even if you believe in one of these, please help fund our adoption.
We are in need of $35,000 to make this dream come true.
Could you find it in your heart to help a dream come true?!